Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It's Baaaack!

Monday was a good day for me too, not too much vibrating and jittery-ness. Today, however, is a different story. I woke up at 10 with that old familiar fluttering in my chest. I laid in bed til 11, hoping it would miraculously go away. (Why do I DO that? I lie in bed trying to go back to sleep, thinking that it will be different when I wake up and I: a)never get back to sleep and b)get out of bed feeling the same. You would think I would try a new tactic by now).
I had to take my morning dose of my pill..I wanted to try to get through the day without it, but I had a doctor appointment today & didn't want the anxiety to get out of control. I was vaguely uneasy all throughout the day, and now it's 6:20 and I think I might be calming down. I'm going to dinner with a friend of mine in a little bit, and I'm happy to report that my appetite has come back. 
I lost about 10 pounds a few months ago when all this started in again..I'm a person that avoids food if I'm stressed or sad. Most of you eat when you get nervous or angry..not me. I'm just the opposite. Lately though, I have been enjoying my food again, hopefully I gained back those pounds.
The lesson I'm going to take from this is that: I had a few good days, I'm starting to eat again..so maybe the meds are starting to work. I just need more time.
Hopefully tomorrow will be another good day.


Tara said...

Glad to hear you got you appetite back! you can take a few of my new found pounds if you want!
I need to get depressed or something again lol i hate this weight gain and ferocious appetite i have.. it's like a runaway train! I hope you enjoyed dinner!

JayMonster said...

You can't play with your meds like this. Simply put, if you are starting to feel better, they are working. Accept that and live with it for a while.

I understand the not liking the feeling "flat" but it is better than the alternative, and the bouncing on and off is not going to make it better, but it can make it worse.

I wish I had something better or more upbeat on the issue, but baby steps will get you to your endgame much quicker than trying to rush it and falling back again.