Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Lack Of Excitement

The last few days here have been extremely warm, so I have gotten out of the house and done some yard work. I have also taken time to gaze around and see what nature has started this spring. So many plants and flowers have popped up seemingly overnight. As I got a closer look at the flowers I started thinking that I'm not really amazed at things any more. Sure, I feel content when I take a deep breath of fresh air, or feel good when I see wildflowers on the side of the road, but I'm talking about good old fashioned elation: the kind I used to get after watching a movie in the theatre when I was really young. I remember coming back from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" and skipping along, wishing our car could fly. I remember seeing Willy Wonka and dreaming about my own Golden Ticket. 

Even a trip to Forest Lodge or Bowcraft Playland  was a guaranteed winner in the excitement department. My Dad used to take me regularly to both places, where I would go swimming, play in the playground, ride Cappy the pony, or even shoot a bow and arrow. 

Now kids have fun by playing video games or Dance Dance Revolution. 

And my capacity for feeling thrilled has greatly diminished. Oh sure, I enjoy living, and get pleasure from simple things like petting my dogs or relaxing on the couch after a good meal, but I no longer skip after seeing a movie. I suppose there are a few things to blame: getting older, becoming jaded as things in life disappointed me, etc. 

Perhaps this is a wake up call for me to take more time out to look for wildflowers, or take a few extra sniffs of the spring breeze. Life may not always be a thrill a minute, but it's certainly worth living. 

Monday, April 20, 2009

A Good Friend and An Unwelcome Companion

I would use the line "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times" but that has been taken. This past Saturday I spent some time with a friend that has reconnected with me on FaceBook. We met in 1998 but lost touch around 2002 as our paths went divergent ways. Last year I had gotten an email and friend request from him and I was ecstatic. We had been trying to meet up since then but our schedules did not permit it..until now. We sat at my house and talked for hours, went to the diner for some food and talked there for hours, then back to my house to watch the Yankee game and still talked!
I so enjoy spending time with him. We are simply friends, there is no flirting, or trying to be someone that I'm not. The best part about him is that he is extremely intelligent, well read and has an impressive vocabulary. I can use words with him and I know he will understand and appreciate them. 
The downside of this is that I woke up with terrible anxiety that morning. I didn't make plans until about noon time so it wasn't that I was apprehensive about meeting him. And even when we were together I was still vibrating and anxious. I was terribly upset. What was wrong with me? I thought I was getting better! How could I be enjoying someone's company and still want to run away and hide?
Frustrated and scared though I was, I didn't say anything. I figured I would get better as the day went on. 
It did not get better. 
He went home around 8 PM, and I settled in to watch some TV and relax (or so I hoped). I was still anxious. 
I took my usual pill at 11 PM and about a half hour later I felt calm, for the first time that day. I hoped that I would not have to deal with the same issues on Sunday. Now I was getting anxious about being anxious! Not good.
I was better on Sunday, I'm pleased to report...but today I have a little bit of vibration. Not as bad as it could be, but it is still there. 
When will this all end?

Friday, April 17, 2009

Too Much Information

I was in the act of composing an email to a friend (he had posted a status update on FaceBook about a doctor visit and I was concerned) and something that I wrote made me stop and think for a second. I had written "nothing much new here, you can see what is going on by my FaceBook updates and my blog".
That sentence made me stop dead in my tracks. 
We are living in the "instant update zone", what with Twitter, FaceBook, blogs, MySpace (does anyone still use that?) and the like. There is no need to spend time hashing out long emails to our friends, when they can just follow our tweets or scan our status updates. I fear that we are becoming an entire nation of hyperactive multitasking people. We watch TV while texting, talk on our cell phones while driving, eat dinner while checking our email, and even give our children video games to play to keep them out of our hair for a while. 
Remember the old days, where you would write (by hand!) an actual letter? My parents had stationery, with a design. I remember them using it to write notes to my teacher when I was out sick. I also remember having pen pals and the thrill I got when there was mail for me. I so enjoyed writing to my pen pals and hearing their stories. 
Those days are gone. 
Now everyone is a virtual pen pal, information without intimacy.

This link confirms what I'm saying. The statistics are incredible. 
We can never go back to the old ways, and for that I am sad. There is a whole generation of people out there that have never, and will never, hand write a letter. 

One of my friends summed it up best while we were discussing the social media explosion. His Dad had recently passed away and one of his friends had taken the time to hand write a card expressing her condolences and some reassuring thoughts for the future. My friend keeps this card on his night stand and re-reads it from time to time. 
Here is his comment: "Twitter, FaceBook and emails have their place, it's true. But I don't keep any 'tweets' or emails on my nightstand."

Waiting...And Waiting...

I finally heard back from the one vet I was flapping about a few posts ago..the answer was NO. They said they could not accomplish all the tasks I had to learn in the time period allotted. How strange, other students have passed their externship with the exact same time constrictions. This program is accredited by the AVMA (governing body for veterinarians and techs) so they are not picking times and subjects arbitrarily.
Anyhow, I picked up my curriculum book and dropped it off at another vet I came upon while Googling. That was about a week ago. 
A former co worker of mine sent me a link to a vet hospital that has 2 of their staff members going to Penn Foster. That sounds promising! I emailed them a note yesterday outlining my externship and asking them if it was something they could help me with. 
I am also emailing out my resume, killing two birds with one stone.

So now I'm playing the waiting game again. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Unemployed People Are Busy Too

Just because I don't have a regular job, does not mean my days are filled with nothing to do. I have decided to make a list of what I have to do today just to comprehend the sheer immensity of things. 
--email JR inquiring about his health
--email JM in regards to vet tech websites
--print out some really good affirmations I have found and hang them up in the house
--watch my videotaped 1 AM SportsCenter (I love Neil Everett)
--walk the dogs throughout the day
--go on FaceBook and check out all my friends
--Twitter (need I say more)
--go to the bank
--pick up some RX's from the store
--pay some bills
--enter feedback on eBay for things I got
--do laundry
--help GiGi write in her blog
--compose my own blog entry
--email an animal hospital enquiring about my externship status
--look for jobs

That should do it for now. At this moment I'm having a nice cup of tea and listening to the rain as I type away. 
I also have about 10 magazines and 3 books waiting for me to read them also..I will do some reading tonight amid the American Idol results and the 10 PM news. 
There is nothing more for me to write here, so I'm off to start my to-do list. 
Wish me luck.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Confused And Annoyed

Why is it so hard to get an answer about my school externship? I dropped my curriculum book off to a vet that I know quite well over 2 weeks ago. I have left 3 messages and none of them have been returned. At this point I'm assuming he doesn't want to help me out, so I have to go pick up my book and drop it off at another vet to start the whole process again. I called the clinic to ask if I could pick the book up, and was told that the vet is not in today, and no one knows where the book is. 
I'm puzzled as to why I have not gotten a call back. How hard is it to call me and say "no, we don't want you" or even "I still need more time to peruse this curriculum."
And I don't want to be rude by calling every day..but I'm really confused by the lack of communication on the vet's part. I know he is really busy, but a "no" or "need more time" call could be made by the receptionist. 
So now it looks like I'm back to square one. I'm really getting disheartened with this whole externship deal. 

Monday, April 6, 2009


I got my '80's video game fix yesterday. We went to lunch at a place called Fuddruckers, where they make really good burgers & fries. After we stuffed ourselves I walked over to the video game section to see what games they had. I'm not a gamer, I just always check to see if they have my favorite game: Centipede.

To my surprise and delight...they did! I begged my husband for some quarters and proceeded to play a few games. I managed to get a high score on one of them, earning the honor of entering my initials into the game's main screen. By the 3rd game my right arm was sore & tired from spinning the trackball. 
For those of you unfamiliar with the greatest video game ever, here is a link to read: 

I never knew that it was one of the first games to have a lot of females playing it. Amazing what Wikipedia digs up, isn't it?

I have tried many times to obtain my own arcade sized game from eBay, but my funds are not equal to what the games are going for (approximately $1200 or up). I'm not sure if I could even fit the game down my stairs to put it in my basement! That never stopped me from bidding, however. 
It is getting harder and harder to find this game anywhere, and I consider myself very lucky to have had a fun Sunday. Burgers and can't beat it!!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Update On Sorority

After I pledged Delta Lambda Sigma the other day, I emailed the President and Vice President with some suggestions for the website and other general thoughts. We corresponded back and forth a few times and I am proud to report that they asked me to consider handling one of the open offices of the sorority!
I am now the Vice President in charge of Recruitment. I'm happy to be a member and would like to share that enthusiasm with others. One of my first projects will be to contact other online colleges and let them know about our unique sorority. As soon as I get the "ok" for the letter I typed up I will start. Our new website will be up and running within a few weeks, and I will post a link to it.
It's good to feel useful again.