Saturday, August 22, 2009

Feeling A Bit Lonely

My Mom has gone home after spending a few days here at my house, and I'm feeling melancholy. Usually my husband drives her home and I'm left to stay in an empty house, but this time I took her home. The loneliness hit me as I was driving back. I always get sad when she leaves, it's a kind of mini empty nest syndrome. I don't mind hanging out at home with just the dog, but after having my Mom here for a visit the house seems emptier when she leaves.
Obviously, the house IS emptier without a 3rd person here, but the empty feeling I get is not just from the lack of a physical's emotional also.
I grew up very close to my parents because I was an only child. I spent a great deal of time with them until I got into the 7th grade...then I started hanging out with my friends a lot more. I was very upset when I lost my Dad in 2005, and am very aware that my Mom will not live forever. I enjoy hanging out with her, going to the stores to "gape" (my word) at all the items, talking about different books we've read, and just sharing my thoughts and dreams and goals with her. She gives me strength when I'm feeling sad, offers advice when I'm struggling with a problem, and I know I always have her in my corner no matter what.
I wish I had spent more time with my Dad, and as a result of that I make sure I always have time for my Mom. When I return to work things will be different, I will not have 3 or 4 days in a row to have a sleep-over trip with her as I have done for the last 18 months. Our time together will be a day or two, but just as enjoyable.
Too many times we think about a loved one after they are gone and we share all the things we loved about that person. I believe in sharing it before they die, that way they know exactly how you feel and you become happy sharing it with them.
Mom, I love you very much and I'm glad to be your daughter. I would not be what I am today without you.

1 comment:

Tara said...

funny, and weird, i've been thinking the same thing of my Father as of late, and how i don't spend any time with him. After my mom's boyfriend passed away a couple weeks ago, i am feeling a strong sense to spend more time with him. i just need to find it.

Thanks for the post