I so enjoy spending time with him. We are simply friends, there is no flirting, or trying to be someone that I'm not. The best part about him is that he is extremely intelligent, well read and has an impressive vocabulary. I can use words with him and I know he will understand and appreciate them.
The downside of this is that I woke up with terrible anxiety that morning. I didn't make plans until about noon time so it wasn't that I was apprehensive about meeting him. And even when we were together I was still vibrating and anxious. I was terribly upset. What was wrong with me? I thought I was getting better! How could I be enjoying someone's company and still want to run away and hide?
Frustrated and scared though I was, I didn't say anything. I figured I would get better as the day went on.
It did not get better.
He went home around 8 PM, and I settled in to watch some TV and relax (or so I hoped). I was still anxious.
I took my usual pill at 11 PM and about a half hour later I felt calm, for the first time that day. I hoped that I would not have to deal with the same issues on Sunday. Now I was getting anxious about being anxious! Not good.
I was better on Sunday, I'm pleased to report...but today I have a little bit of vibration. Not as bad as it could be, but it is still there.
When will this all end?
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1 comment:
One day your anxiety is going to pick itself up and leave. Grammatically simple. I know. Sure, there'll be times when you are anxious as you were with your good friend. But hang on to good friends because it is they who will help you through your time of woe. And also, you'll find out who your good friends are. They'll be there even if they don't understand the intricacies of your condition.
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